Wake Up Call

I've turn my curses into blessings
Control my thoughts that I am having
To dip my fingers only when they're calling
And often times, I leave no trails, leave them wandering

I've accumulated roses and words
For me have been bestowed rings and inks
Stuffed to the brim with everything nice
Yet buried neck-deep underneath my tower of ice

What have gone wrong? Where did I start?
Everything passes, am I still in charge?
What would you do were you in my shoes?
To whom I owe this voidness that consists of nothing but my walls - layers of walls?

All the blessing I put out, I counted them all
For me to retract where exactly I took the fall
Did I somehow miss Your call?
Beneath the fear of my own misjudgment, I feel small

'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened'
Did I put on a brave face, acted like there's nothing to be heard?
'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened'

Or was I hiding in the place cannot be reached?

What have I been concealing? My thoughts? My cry for help?

Thus everything keeps on going, why each tick feel so slow?

What would I do were I in your shoes?

Would you be the only person I confide which direction I shall take; to flip the next page - or to destroy the book?